Every weekday I cook dinner, but there are not really any days I’m certain who’s going to show up to eat. I like to sit around the table as a family, but it doesn’t happen often anymore and we end up eating in shifts.

My daughters have off schedules from my husband’s and mine. Really, my husband’s schedule is even a bit different from my own. He gets up very early and though I love him, I am hard pressed to even stir when he kisses me goodbye. I try and have dinner ready when he gets home or at least near the time he arrives. Because he eats lunch around 10:30 in the morning, he would naturally be hungry by 2:30 when he lands.

Without the parenting responsibility of my daughters in school, my day is pretty much my own. And though 2:30 is a little early for me to eat dinner these days, I still attempt to have it ready for him in case he’s ravenous when he hits the door. He might dip into the soup pot before I’m ready to eat – shift one.

I admit I’ve given up trying to guide my daughters to a normal schedule. My youngest is often just getting up when her dad gets home and dinner will be her breakfast – shift two. When I’m not hungry when dinner is ready or I’m immersed in a project, I will eat a little later – shift three(ish).

My oldest’s work schedule is really disconnected from her father’s work schedule. She sometimes doesn’t start work until 12:45, getting home by 7:30 – shift four. On the days she doesn’t work, she has the same vampire schedule as her sister – shift five(ish). Then there are the days when I think everyone is going to be home, I’ll whip up an especially fine, eat-at-the-table dinner, and no one shows up – shift six.

My husband often has engine brain, meaning he’s building a motor for one of his hobby cars and he’s so focused on it that he leaves work in search of parts. I don’t really mind. I’m usually clued in when he’s in that mode. Most of the time, he mentions that he’s going somewhere after work the night before. God forbid he tells me when he’s kissing me goodbye in the wee hours of the morning. That’s happened and no part of me recollected that he gave me any information when I was asleep. He’s learned by now that unless I actually stand up to go to the bathroom during the transaction, I’ll never recall his intention. And even then, I can’t guarantee I’ll remember because it’s so early. Sometimes stuff will come back to me like a dream. The worst times are when he tells me he won’t be home right away after work and it wakes me up enough to ponder our dinner plans. Then I’m awake for the day at that horrible hour.

If my kids are no-shows when I’m not expecting it, it’s usually because they had an appointment they didn’t tell me about. Actually, they don’t usually tell me about appointments. I’m very much in love with the idea of them running their own lives, but I hate it at the same time. I like knowing who’s coming for dinner. Now that my kids are possibly moving out at the beginning of the year, all bets are off about what dinner will look like.

All this talk about eating at different shifts has kind of killed my chef’s spirit. I think my husband and I will just go get a burger when he gets home today.

Gretchen Leigh is a stay-at-home mom who lives in Covington.